ummmm.....

so it's been a while and im not really sure how often you check my blog, but yeah. right now im having sinus problems, well basically i have alot of snot comming out of my nose, not because im sick but because i have water in my sinuses because of a choice i made which now has negative consequences on my body. so yes, i'm sitting on my bed in my room listening to lifehouse with a box of tissues and a trash can next to me. im not really sure what i want to do with my life. i always just knew as a kid that i was going to be a famous actor and make lots of money and live an easy life, but the more i talk with the Father the more i know that that's not what he wants for me. so my question is what now? when i look at all the clothes in my closet it's almost like i dont even know who i am i have nice clothes, dressy and casual and then i have things like my loungy pants and tshirts and there's not really anything that i favor. when i look at my itunes i have "christian" music and "secular" music i have country, rock, and musical theatre music and again there's not one that i favor. it's like my preferences are one jumbled, mesh of stuff, making it extreemly difficult to figure out what path would be best suited for me. my interests are strange too, i enjoy any form of education but i also have an insane TV addiction. even my room wont make up it's mind on the outside it seems normal but on the inside it's this insane combination of vibrant colors and patterns. I would like to be a missionary, but at the same time i think that my life should speak for itself that i shouldnt be paid to live my life for Jesus but that it should be something that i just do. I DONT KNOW WHAT I WANT TO DO WITH MY LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! really my mother only thinks that we have less than 40 years until the end of the world. she says that with confidence. honestly i cant see the world ending and ceasing to exist in less than 40 years. if it does than nothing that happens now will matter. the predicament of dealing with my math teacher will be irrelevent then. at the same time i feel cheated why do my parents get to live a long life, but i only get to live 45 years of my life which brings the question of do i procreate? because then they would get to live an even shorter life. i dont get time to goof around and figure out my priorities. they have to be figured out now so that my life though short can be a full one. at the same time every choice i make, though it may seem irrelevent actually is not because every event affects another, large or small it all affects the web of life, if one string is not strung then the next must be strung differently than was planned before, changing the masterpiece, at the same time the creator of the master peice would know that that one string would not be strung and so though he still gives the chance for it to be strung he has a plan for the masterpiece and it will still come out beautiful, perhaps even more so than if the string had been strung. which brings the question of "if the creator knew that some of the strings in the masterpiece wouldnt be strung did he even origionally plan on them being strung or in his knowledge did he count them a loss from the beginning, planning the materpiece around their absence?"

I'm So Offended! (aren't i clever?)

Ahem. I would like to start off by saying 1. you're not stupid and 2. you do have pictures on your blog. I quite liked braces; they were so cool! So i guess it's time to apoligize for my neglect of this blog ; i'm sorry i havent posted in forever! =( Not alot is really going on in my life right now. School is good, but rather time consuming and i didnt realize how time consuming it is because school starts at 8am and goes until 3pm but i have to leave the house at 6:45 because i have to walk to the bus stop and then bus gets to school early so that's like 8 hours out of my day and then i have to come home and spend 2hrs on homework so that's 10 hours out of my day if i get the less than recomended 8hrs of sleep that leaves 4hours left in my day take out the hour before school i spend getting ready and the hour i spend with God and you have 2 hours to have a life. The ironic thing is most people dont continue on with friendships made in highschool after highschool. Even though you spend 7 hours a day with them (admiditly there isnt anyone who has the exact same schedual as me) but still. I think this is because in highschool everyone is so consumed with what everyone else thinks of them. It's blatently obious that everyone is insecure and that their relationships have no substance, but it's alot better than Junior High. I think that i would hate high school if i didnt have such low expectations for it and if Junior High hadnt been so terrible. I feel like if I'm not going to know these people in four years, why should i care about what they think of me right now? I also think that if I'm not going to know them in four years, this means my days with them are numbered and that i have to make shure that every moment is lived for Christ (which admiditly i havent been doing so good at lately). Anyways i have 3 1/2 years with these people to show them how amazing Christ is and how much he loves them. I really have trouble with this because i can be really annoyed with how petty they can be. Rarely do i stop and think "Wow, they're acting like this because they're not held to a higher standerd that i am so they dont know any better but it's your job to lead by example and teach them to know better." Usually it's " *rolling of the eyes* Oh my goodness they are so annoying!" of course all of this is internal because i'm way too much of a people pleaser and would never intentionally do anything to make someone think less of me. So yes I am insecure and i think everyone is to an extent but that dosent justify it or make it healthy. Anyways this was just a post of me rambling on and i would love to continue rambling but it's 8:30 right now and i need to put my laundry away and shower and then get up at 6am tomorrow and start it all over again. So hope you have a lovely day and week and everything else. I will try to post again before saturday but if i dont it's because well I've been busy with school.

Hi

so usually i have really uninteresting titles because i cant think of awesome ones so yeah. right now i'm avoidning doing my french 2 writing final which was due on the 7th but tomorrow is the VERY LAST day to turn it in and the rest of my day is kind of packed because i leave for good news club at 1pm and then i get home around 4pm and then at 6pm i leave for counseling and then at around 7:20 or 7:30 i get back and dont feel like being productive so yes that is why i should be doing my final but i dont feel like it. that's also how my day gets wasted away. anyways i suppose i shall be productive now =P
HAVE A LOVELY DAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! E> <3

Today...

so today the mother and i are going to La Mirada High school as well as La Serna High School because i could go to either one (well there's actually several others that i could go to but i dont feel like walking for an hour and 20min to get there so these are the two closest) so we're going to check them out and then start the enrollment process. yay! i also have a french final today yay! i miss you too by the way though i think you wouldnt like it here because it shouldnt be hot in January but it is. i'm so touched PAJAMA NINJAS! *stirkes pose* That's strange because i feel like she knows you way better than i do because she's always talking about you! Well i would say that she doesnt know me better than you do because she doesnt know that i'm going to public school next semester (infact i havent really told anyone other than you yet). YAY for officialness of California road trip! well if you'll have me i'd love to ride up with you guys! =) well change in plans we arent going to either one of the highschools today. So i decided that i dont know which school i want to go to. and i really hate not knowing what i want! so yeah not alot is going on with me. I've just been slowly chipping away at the mountan that is my homework. ttfn!
E>

All About Abby

Well since you commented on my last post that you were sad because i wasnt being narcissistic, i decided that i shall tell you more about my life. This morning i woke up at 7:23am after being woken up twice by my brother's alarm clock which he chooses to sleep through (i have no idea how he does it). The reason i woke up so early is because (other than the alarm clock) i'm still kind of on texas time. They had us waking up at 6am their time which is 4am our time so i'm sleeping in. =) After arising from the couch (i've been sleeping on the couch the past few well ever since i got home really) that faces the fire place, I went to the bathroom and then gathered my things: ipod, cellphone, book, printed stuff off the internet. Then i had my "quiet time". I'm reading crazy love right now and if you havent read it yet you need to. it's sooo good, also very convicting, which is why it's good. I also read my devotion thingy because it's prayer and fasting week at our church so they have this devotion thingy for you to do. so i read through that and looked up the scriptures and read those and while i did all of this i listened to Kutless's Strong Tower album. I've been listening to it during my "quite time" since forever. I also prayed. Then i turned on my computer and signed in to my school account. While i did this i called my mom at work and chatted with her for a bit. I also checked your blog, though you didnt post anything new =( and then i checked my blog to see if you had posted a commnet which you did! Then i started writing this post. As i have been writing this post, i have been drinking Cranberry-pomegranate juice. It's very good, but i've been drinking it for the past two days so i think i'm going to get something else to drink after i finish this glass. Hope you are doing well!!!!!! E> Jesus loves you!!!!!! and so do I.
=)

so yeah

TINA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IM SO HAPPY FOR YOU THAT YOU PASSED THE PRE-ALGEBRA FINAL EXAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! of course you would choose the tank top =) you crazy woman! getting hot in the middle of winter in washington while you're wearing a tank top therfore turning on the fan! Tell your parents i said happy-belated-anniversary. YAY!!!! i'm so glad you got to go to posse! YAY FOR REMOVAL OF PINS IN THUMBS!!!! my advice to you would to be to close your eyes and relax. (easier said than done, but it really does work) (though i've never actually had them do surgery on my hand or my anything for that matter). I WILL TOTALLY BRING YOU ALONG WHEN I'M CHANGING THE WORLD WITH JESUS!!!!! please do share your plan! sadness for new neighbors that arent me! =( Have a lovely week! hopefully i'll post something more than just this this week. anyways.... E>!!!!!

HI!!!!!!

how are you? I feel like it's been forever. right now i'm procrastinating and not doing school, instead i'm writing a blog post!!! i actually have a french Final due today (i have THREE french finals one for writing, one for speaking, and one for multipule choice) so anyways i'm trying to do other things instead of actually accomplishing something with my life so i shall continue doing just that. right now i'm sitting at my desk typing on my laptop. OH!!! i got one of those gigantic desktop callenders so i can write EVERYTHING that i'm doing that day on my calendar. I also have a day planner but i dont use it because it was given to me for FREE because Toddy didnt want it because he already had one and some one gave it to him for FREE. i like capitolizing ) random words. =) =) =) NERDFIGHTERS!!!!!! i got a DFTBA shirt for Christmas (if you didnt know DFTBA stands for Dont Forget To Be Awesome) i quite like it. well i suppose i've procastionated enough and should now start studying french grammar! YAY!!!!!! kind of.... E>